EncourageYou!

Our 4 year old is still cute and adorable, and he has not yet learned that lying can get you out of trouble. Yesterday afternoon he was playing with his sister and some neighbors, when his sister came crying to us, saying, "Trevor says I'm on Satan's team!" Oh. So I asked adorable T-Bear about this, "Did you tell Grace...?" Trevor replies, "Yes," in a surprisingly matter of fact tone. As a result, he had to tell his sister he was sorry, and listen to my profound yet simple wisdom of never doing that again.

Soon later, the scene repeats itself. Again, I ask Trevor if this "Satan's Team" comment is true, and again, he answers "yes," without any fanfare or defense. So now it is time out, saying "I'm sorry" to Grace, again, then to me for not obeying my directions, and life goes on.

Finally, when playing Star Wars light sabres with his older brother Ryan, I hear the accusation that Trevor really whacked Ryan in the shins with a light sabre. So, a third time, I ask the accused, and he still replies, "Yes"

So now what? Do I praise his honesty? Any kid should know that if you are accused by a sibling but not caught in the act by a parent, the safest responses are:

• Defend yourself by explaining what an incompetent buffoon your brother or sister is
• Lie

I once read that a parent should never punish a child for telling the truth. I never knew how to really apply that in real life, until now. Trevor was crying by this point, so I figure he is either remorseful or very tired from his exciting day with Grandma, so I extended mercy by giving no other correction other than an early bath time, which he needed anyway. Mercy through avoiding the harsher discipline he earned, justice by moving him away from a situation.

After the bath, which he cried through most of, he got dressed and lay down on the couch with a Veggie Tales video. Eventually his older brother and sister joined him, and the family was at peace once again. Not only that, but I didn't feel like a LoserDad because I lost my temper and went over the top.

The lesson I learned from this is that I don't have to get upset and overpunish when my my children act like I did when I was their age. Stop, look, listen, say a prayer, and look for restoration, not vengance. If you do, then resolution will come peacefully.

This evening, my restful plans were interrupted when our neighbor, Michelle M., told us that we (and they) have THATCH in our yards. That means that dead grass is down there choking our living grass! The horror! So Darling Bride and I took turns raking our suburban back yard. We're not done yet, so back to it tomorrow, weather permitting.

I do not have to do my upper body exercises tonight.

If your otherwise beautiful, green lawn has a lot of brown spots on them, they may be either

1. Grubs
2. Miniature Alien UFO landing spots
3. Thatch

Get your rake, some bottled water, and trash bags and rake, rake, rake until your arms and chest are sore. Get all the dead stuff away, it is choking your living stuff. Live to grow a lawn another day. My neighbor is pretty knowledgeable about these things, so we dropped what we were doing and got started right away.

here are some thatch links:

http://www.scotts.com/index.cfm?event=Search&searchString=thatch&x=4&y=5

http://muextension.missouri.edu/explore/agguides/hort/g06708.htm

Here are Trevor, Ryan, and Grace, waiting for their Nana to visit. One way to know that you are a popular Nana is if three grandchildren go to the garage, find their lawn chairs, and set them up on the sidewalk beside the road to wait until you drive by - sort of a one person parade! And bringing more than just candy to throw, I might add! I did not mind putting away the chairs for them.

This weekend one of our fish, Gideon, a male Betta, lost his battle with parasites and fin rot. He was 1. He is survived by Nellie, another male Betta, Goldie the goldfish, Peter and Digory the parakeets, and Abbey the Cat. His is also survived by the boy who took care of him, Ryan. He will be missed. But not replaced.

As many of us know, pets are one way to teach children responsibility, care, and upkeep of another living being. Also, even though Gideon was with us only a short while, he, as pets also do, taught about living and dying.

In a media age where death is trivialized by its constant showing on TV, death is still as final as it is certain. The Betta, along with the nine other fish who have passed on in the past 15 months, are gone for good.

Are we gone for good when we people come to the end of this life? Consider these promises from God:

• ...according to his promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in whcih righteousness dwells. - 2 Peter 3:13
• In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. - John 14:2-3
• Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who believes in me shall never die... - John 11:25-26

Fortunately, we are different from our fish, our pets, and other animals. If we trust in the promises of God as spoken to us by his son Jesus and written for us in his Bible, we may be missed for a while, but our bodies will be replaced with new ones someday and we will dwell with God, and each other, forever. That lesson is more exciting and encouraging than anything our pets can teach us.

This past Thursday was another of those moments when I realized that I'm not a kid anymore, I'm 40 years old and all grown up. Fortunately, this moment was a good one.

For dinner, my family (wife Jennifer, sons Ryan and Trevor, daughter Grace), met my Mom at my brother's house to eat pizza and try out his new deck. My brother's house is new construction, so the conversation turned to stuff like trying to plant grass, landscaping, rocks in the yard, the neighbors, the neighbors' kids, the other houses being built, new jobs, upcoming family reunion, and the like. As my kids split their time between playing light sabres with neighbor kids and earning money by getting rocks out of the yard, I couldn't help but notice that my brother, mom, and I have come a long way (a long way) from somehow getting by as a single parent household with a couple of active teenage boys. As Billy Joel sings in the song Keeping the Faith, "The good old days weren't always good....tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems..."

Talking about fighting weeds is better than talking about fighting each other.

That kind of grown up stuff is a lot more fun than paying bills, taking kids to emergency rooms, trying to sell your house, watching your peers be more successful than you....

By the way, Direct Deposit did go through successfully at work. So despite my difficulties in learning a new bank's system, we did get paid. Hooray!

Photo: Artist's rendition of me doing our payroll.

We're using a new bank for our payroll! Two weeks ago I got trained on how to process and submit direct deposits for our employees (including me)! Today, using what I remember and working through what I've forgotten, I've logged onto our bank's Automated Clearing House (ACH) web site, forged ahead, and processed our direct deposit batch. In reply, I've gotten a message from the bank saying that they've gotten my batch, but we'll see what happens after Friday morning when everybody's pay makes it to their bank accounts or not.

Not only do I get the joy of trying to keep within our family's budget (yeah, right), but I also get the joy of waiting to see if payroll goes through in the first place. Talk about getting it coming and going!

Let's see what happens Friday!

Being a dad + not having a grill = new grill!

Hooray!

This Fathers Day we hosted my father in law, and my wife's grandparents. Being the youngest of three dads, I got the privilege of using my new gas grill. Too bad it was raining, so I grilled hot dogs, hamburgers, and bratwursts in the rain. Fortunately, the rain stopped and we had a good day.

Also, fortunately, since getting the new grill, we've used it everyday, and we had our first grease fire Saturday afternoon. My advice: heed the warning about keeping the grill three feet away from everything! So I got it cleaned out and ready for Sunday.

Charcoal grills are great, but the beautiful thing about gas is that you can use it anytime, even during near downpours.

Here's to hoping the weather will be better on July 4,
Jeff

While most of the civilized United States has turned their clocks forward in the Spring and backward in the fall, most of Indiana did not. Until this year. For the first time, Central Indiana "Sprang ahead" and observed Daylight Savings Time.

The first Sunday revealed how this would destroy our children's routines, sleeping habits, and jeapordize my marriage. At bedtime, 8:00, my daughter Grace asked me why she had to go to bed while it was still daylight, and last night she got to stay up until dark. As it turns out, DST is too abstract for a six year old to understand. All she knows is that there is an extra hour of daylight at bedtime, made worse because the days are getting longer until June 21, the first day of summer.

Now, as Summer Solstice approaches, and the last glimmers of the sunset disappear at about 10pm, the kids can't sleep, I don't get quiet time alone with my wife, cat, and TV, and life is in chaos. Thanks, Governor Daniels, for being a homewrecker. At least the days will start to shorten next week, and I will someday get the kiddos back onto a workable routine. By that time they will be on their way to college, and I'll fall asleep by 7pm due to old age.

Can't wait until July 4 when the fireworks will start at 10 instead of 9,
Jeff

Being on my lunch hour right now, I'm thinking a lot about work, my lunch, and maybe even a summer vacation sometime soon. A few years ago, when Personal Mission Statements were in vogue (thanks to Stephen Covey and others), I wrote my own Mission Statement. Part of it is a list of why I go to work each day and pursue a career (in no particular order):

1. A stewardship to create profitablility for the company I work for
2. Serving God by serving and influencing others - customers, co-workers, vendors, whomever comes my way.
3. A conduit of providing means for my family
4. A model of responsibility and diligence for my children, family, friends, and others
5. Access to the culture as an ambassador for Christ.

These reasons for work may change in priority from one day to another, or during the day. They all work together to provide motivation and inspiration.

Don't think that I am a workaholic. Surely I am not. In fact, I often wonder if my work ethic could be declared "missing in action." Usually I need a reminder of why I get up in the morning, and this list helps. You may have your own list of reasons for plugging ahead each day. I hope this list helps you.

Best,

Jeff